Kay’s Journal: Two Years Ago This Week

Kay at Crown Hill Park and Wildlife Refuge

Kay at Crown Hill Park and Wildlife Refuge

Kay’s note, 3/20/18: A family  member was in a serious car accident yesterday. Only minor injuries, blessedly, but I’m on standby for emotional and logistical support. This week’s blog is a Throwback Tuesday to March 21, 2016. I’ll be back next week!

The scene: Midway through A Year at Crown Hill, a series that started as a meditation on my walks at Crown Hill (an environmental park and wildlife refuge across the street from my house), and ended up also being about my interior landscapes. The format was: An essay about whatever landscape I was inhabiting, a photo, a haiku.

Week 28. I’ve been saying this for very many weeks, but it suddenly feels true: I am (finally) experiencing breakthrough!

I have started to unwind from an unholy pile-up of deadline-driven work. Make no mistake: I’ve loved it all (well, all except for the Social Security saga)–the week-long intensives, the travel, the teaching, even the book-writing. But positive stress is still stress. As my dear mentor Peggy Heller says, it’s been too much muchness.

Along the way I have let some plates drop. I feel responsible and guilty but I am trying to be gentle with myself and trust the kindness of friends, students, and colleagues who have been on the other side of my missed deadlines.

Spring is returning to Denver and my garden is greener and taller every day. Tiny leaves on the miniature roses promise blooms in June; buds on the Korean lilac promise fragrance in May; tulip shoots promise color in April; in March, the sweet crocus are thriving.

My deadline pressure is now Journal Conference 2016, which, at this stage, is welcoming the time I have to focus on it, now that all the other juggled plates have been safely retrieved and stacked in the “done” column. And in late May, after the conference is adjourned, I will have (dare I say this?) a simple, uncluttered summer. Ahhh!



Sun breaks through clouds

I break through deadline pile-up

Brilliant reflection

Sunrise over Crown Hill Lake

The update: The mania continued through the ramp-up to Journal Conference 2016, which was, I think for everyone there, an Experience. Then I came home in late May 2016 and had a year-long recovery period from creating a ten-book series followed by an international conference. During that year I started pottery, created a teensy little dedicated journal writing space–a closet of her own!–, cut back to about 30-35 hours a week (which felt like semi-retirement) and took up my moldering novel again. In July 2017 I started an intensive year-long coaching program, and my primary work focus for the last eight months has been a deep immersion into improving Journalverse and creating a very cool online journal therapy curriculum available as a continuing education course for therapists, which we are just launching now.

Your thoughts? What were you doing two years ago in March? How did that connect to Now?

3 Responses to Kay’s Journal: Two Years Ago This Week

  1. Lynn D. Morrissey March 20, 2018 at 4:55 pm #

    Oh Kay. So very sorry. Praying for a full recovery for your family member.

  2. Birgit March 21, 2018 at 2:03 am #

    Dear Kay, my very best wishes for your relative. May s/he be well again soon.

    And thanks for your post from two years ago which was just right for me, today. I can relate so much to what you say since I felt the same till very recently: “I have started to unwind from an unholy pile-up of deadline-driven work. Make no mistake: I’ve loved it all (…)
    Along the way I have let some plates drop.”
    Thanks especially for the reminder to be kind to myself and to trust others to be so, too!

    For the time being an illness sent by some power wiser than myself delivers an unexpected but welcome solution to my serious overload.
    After – it seemed to me – half of Germany had been taken hostage by a strange and serious flu for weeks which can last up to six weeks – I finally got into the kidnapper’s hands as well. What an “insult” – since I had felt immune and strong. Now I am back to basics: sleeping, eating, drinking, sleeping.
    The side effect of this cure: I feel like I am slowly catching up with myself and I have a renewed awareness of what is important in everyday life. I am grateful for that. And hope to be more humble regarding life’s plans for me in the future. Thanks for making me think and write about this here. B.

  3. irit freiman March 22, 2018 at 10:19 am #

    i hope he is feeling better. speedy recovery to him and to all your hearts, the beat faster from loving and caring

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