Kay’s Journal: As Corny as Kansas in August

Hi, I’m Kay Adams. Here’s what I’m thinking about this week

I’m as corny as Kansas in August,
I’m as normal as blueberry pie
No more a smart little girl with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!
from A Wonderful Guy, South Pacific

In mid-May, I met a lovely man on the best first date I’ve had in my whole life. Ken was smart, a wonderful conversationalist, a pure gentleman, cute, funny. We immediately fell into an easy, natural conversation about things that matter as we shared a bottle of red wine. By the time we had poured the last sips on that first date we had made a second date. And then we kept having more dates, finding a rhythm that worked with the complexity of our everyday lives.

One month in, we agreed to be a couple. Two months in, we were meeting the other’s family. Three months in, we’re acknowledging what we have is a loving, committed partnership.

Part of my personal reality is that I’ve been single for 36 years, opting out of every attempted relationship in favor of a monastic devotion to my work. I expressed this early on, sharing my fear that I would not be able to commit. He listened carefully and suggested we just see how it unfolded.

What has unfolded is deep, authentic, joyful, conscious, mutual and easy, easy, easy. Nothing but flow. I have overcome all of my own objections and have recognized that apparently I can have a relationship without sacrificing my work in the world. I am proud of myself for knowing that I  wouldn’t engage in anything that wasn’t just like this. And, as he gently teases me, it’s a good thing that this is just like this so I can stick around.

I’d like to introduce you to Ken through an Alphapoem that I wrote at the one-month mark. I know you’ll welcome him into our community as my wonderful guy!

After thirty-six years of devoted singlehood,
beyond the thought of breaking conscious
celibacy, I have met a man.                    We
discuss into the night matters both important and
everyday, holy outrage threaded through with homely stories,
fabric surprisingly sturdy to hold what seems to be
genuine connection. Genuine, a word that names the beating
heart of this emergence. Authentic, real, true. We know the
intimacy of undefended honesty. We fumble to find
just the words to say enough but not too much. His name is
Ken. He is from Boston. He cares for his dad. He has a son. He
loves to build things — koi pnds, aquaria, fountains. He
makes me feel smart and funny. I love his laugh. He is
nurturing, a heart of service, generous and kind. He
opens me in places I thought were rusted over,
permanently cobwebbed, all thought of foolish romance
quelled forever. I was wrong. But only half: this is
real, no silly games, no hungry need, no guile, no
scrap of foolishness. This is mutual. This is grown-up.
This is real.                                             I feel the constant
urge to hold myself in check, pause and wait, my daily
vow to stay present, stay open, stay in service,
walking mindfully, wanting all and nothing,
exalting in the preciousness of love in all its forms,
zany and damp with the joy of possibilities.
                                                                     — June 17, 2018


We share joy, trust, truth,

the Us of us emerging–

We are Kay and Ken.



41 Responses to Kay’s Journal: As Corny as Kansas in August

  1. irit freiman August 14, 2018 at 1:57 am #

    love is in the air – so beautiful. teh right person came at the right time for you. it was not on your vision list, but what a great surprise.
    enjoy the feeling and each other. and hug from me, to both of you

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:48 pm #

      Irit, thank you for your support (and the hug!) We are building bridges ….

    • Mary Lee Simpson August 24, 2018 at 8:51 am #

      Oh, Kay–my heart is so full of joy for you and Ken! What a sweet picture of you two! Clearly, this is a divine arrangement, and I love it (but am not surprised) that Susan was a big part of it. She’s rejoicing along with all of us here!
      Love and blessings to you both, Mary Lee

      • Kay Adams August 24, 2018 at 1:25 pm #

        Thanks, MLee! It just gets better and better. Did I mention he’s a fabulous cook and regularly feeds me stupendous healthy dinners? Yes, Susan is no doubt quite proud of her handiwork!

  2. Susan Hendricks August 14, 2018 at 10:44 am #

    WOW!! What a special fellow to have captured the irrepressible Kay!! Congratulations to you both and Whoop-tee-do!!

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:49 pm #

      Thanks, Susan! Appreciate your good thoughts.

  3. Karen Newcomb August 14, 2018 at 10:48 am #

    My heart soars! You are settling in without settling. Enjoy?

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:50 pm #

      Karen, that’s so beautiful–settling in without settling. We are definitely enjoying! (and the wine glass is appropriate!)

  4. Cyncie Winter August 14, 2018 at 11:12 am #

    Oh Kay, I am so very happy for you! Thanks for introducing Ken to all of us!


    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:51 pm #

      Thanks, Cyncie. I’ve been surrounded by couples like you and Chuck as inspiration for what’s possible How is Chuck doing?

  5. Alison Heath August 14, 2018 at 11:28 am #

    Beautiful !

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:54 pm #

      Thanks, Alison! Who knew!

  6. Carolyn Koehnline August 14, 2018 at 11:36 am #

    Kay this is so wonderful. An unexpected joy in your life. It makes me think of another song.

    “This can’t be love because I feel so well.
    No sobs. No sorrows. No sighs.”

    Here’s Nat King Cole singing it:

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:56 pm #

      Carolyn, OF COURSE you’d be the one to give us a sound track! Thanks!

  7. Linda Barnes August 14, 2018 at 11:57 am #

    You didn’t mention siblings but Ken now has a few dozen new sisters, and some new brothers, too! It’s true joy to welcome him to our family/tribe!

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:58 pm #

      Indeed! He probably thinks you’re talking about my REAL family–brave man that he is, he met 22 of my family members at one double-birthday party. He was a champ and almost remembered everybody’s name just from rote memorization (“no, she’s my OTHER nephew’s girlfriend….”)

  8. Lu August 14, 2018 at 12:18 pm #

    Your happiness spills over, I’m touched by it! Best of life to you both.

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:59 pm #

      Thanks, Lu. I have been completely happy being absorbed in wonderful work, and now I’m even more completely happy. Feels great.

  9. Mary August 14, 2018 at 1:46 pm #

    Yay!!! Happiness rules!

    • Kay Adams August 14, 2018 at 3:59 pm #

      Thanks, Mary!

  10. Cathleen Callahan August 14, 2018 at 5:45 pm #

    I am so tickled for you, Kay, and for Ken, too! Cute couple you are. The smiles tell it all :). What wonderful surprises life can bring. Hugs to you both. Yippee! 🙂

    • Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 9:52 am #

      Thanks, Cathy! A most wonderful surprise. Susan was somewhat of a spiritual matchmaker here — when I was in Steamboat visiting her (the last time I saw her) I unconsciously chose a male image for the handmade journal she was coaching me on making, and when I put it down and picked it up several times she finally told me that maybe I was calling in some romantic male energy and to stop resisting it. I scoffed at her and told her no way was I calling in romantic male energy. Ha! Two weeks after that I joined Match.com in a pure blast of impulse and three days after that Ken reached out to me. After six weeks of correspondence we had that first date. He’s a good writer and we had some interesting email conversations. I kept Susan updated and she took full credit for bringing us together! Of course she would!

      • Cathleen Callahan August 15, 2018 at 4:02 pm #

        I love this…Susan at her wise woman best! 🙂 Match.com, huh…hmmmm…
        I just grin from ear to ear each time I think of you and your guy and those happy smiles on your faces!

  11. Judy Reeves August 14, 2018 at 5:55 pm #

    Oh Kay, how I loved reading this—the narrative, the poem, the “Kansas in August” corniness of it all. Except there’s nothing corny here. Just love, sweet love. What the world needs now. Thank you for sharing with us.

    • Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 10:00 am #

      Thanks, Judy! Always appreciate your support!

  12. Heather Leavesley August 14, 2018 at 7:25 pm #

    Kay – once again you’re such an inspiration! Thank you for being you and sharing!

    • Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 12:35 pm #

      Thanks, Heather!

  13. Dawn Lawson August 14, 2018 at 10:10 pm #

    Kay, I second, third, fourth, etc, all of the above well wishes. And you can tell Ken that I approve of him 100 percent because you wrote that he thinks you are smart and funny, as you absolutely are.
    xo, Dawn

    • Kay Adams August 29, 2018 at 7:23 am #

      Thanks, Dawn! So appreciative of all the support from our wonderful tribe.

  14. Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 10:01 am #

    And also because he totally GETS this work and is 1,000% supportive of me and all of us doing it. He’ll be glad to know you approve! (So am I!)

  15. Lisa Olcese August 15, 2018 at 12:14 pm #

    So happy for you, Kay!! During this season of First Harvest, I’m celebrating you and Ken and the sweet ripening of love. Thanks for sharing with us – inspired!! xo

    • Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 12:31 pm #

      Thanks, Lisa! Summer was a wonderful season to explore the relationship, and autumn/First Harvest is a perfect time to dive deeper.

  16. Katherine Cox Stevenson August 15, 2018 at 12:21 pm #

    Oh Kay I am smiling earring to earring. Sincere congratulations to you and Ken. As I was reading, I thought, “Please can we see a photo of Ken.” Then voila both of you looking so connected and happy. This is the best news!! I am going to do a happy dance around my living room. Thanks for sharing with us.

    • Kay Adams August 15, 2018 at 12:29 pm #

      Katherine, so sweet of you to dance around your living room in celebration of us! And yes, I love that photo. Thanks!

  17. Kathryn Lockwood August 16, 2018 at 10:21 am #

    Kay, I have tears of joy running down my face as I reflect upon this picture and story of Love’s blessings in your life. I am so very happy for you and Ken. What a wonderful story of love’s unfolding and creation of “us”. Welcome to our tribe Ken. Y’all are absolutely beautiful together.

    • Kay Adams August 17, 2018 at 12:20 pm #

      Thanks, Kathy! It’s been a wonderful first stage and we’re gearing up for whatever the next phase brings.

  18. Elaine Brooks August 23, 2018 at 10:55 am #

    Kay, funny that I just read Kathy’s response because your writing brought tears to my eyes. You are so deserving of all this joy. I love that Susan remains such an integral part of our community. Enjoy every minute!

  19. Vivian Lu August 24, 2018 at 8:44 pm #

    Sooooo Sweet! Life is so amazing and wonderful! The smiles on your faces are so sweet and sincere, I can feel the happiness through the screen. Congratulations!

    • Kay Adams August 27, 2018 at 8:43 am #

      Thank you, Vivian! Yes, we are happy together.

  20. Judith B. Mizrahi August 27, 2018 at 7:38 pm #

    Yummmm. Enjoy all!


  21. Carol Roberts August 29, 2018 at 5:54 pm #

    Oh, gosh, Kay, I almost missed this wonderful news. I’m so happy for you.

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